Yaya's Cafe

The Mix of Stuff Blog

Online Spanking May 3, 2012

Filed under: Family,News,Opinion — Yaya @ 8:54 AM
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Online Spanking must sound like some kind of pseudo-science term or simply an oxymoron. Normally, I would agree but it is about time someone (meaning me) gave this new wave of online punishment/humiliation or (Fill in the Blank) a name. After reading about the mother who posted a photo of her daughter with an X across her mouth and the words: “I don’t know how to keep my mouth shut. I am no longer allowed on Facebook or my phone. Please ask why, my mom says I have to answer anyone that asks.”

Now, reading this makes most people squirm and wonder what the over paid and overly opinionated professionals would say. I completely disagree. People just need to look back at their childhood and (most of the time) the answer is right there. I am just saying: Think About It! When you were young and you misbehaved your parents said no T.V. or no toys. Later it became no phone or video games. By the way, when I mentioned “no phone” I was referring to a home phone.

Most kids think the idea of a home phone is ridiculous but they don’t realize that before cellphones and internet people needed to use a home phone, walk/drive to the person they were trying to contact, or send a letter. I am in my 20’s but I remember a time when the internet was the thing most of used at the library to learn about silly things and useless facts.

Nowadays, computers and phones have taken over and changed the way we communicate. This is especially true when we consider the impact social networks have had on society and our inter-personal relationships. For most people, Facebook has replaced their little black notebook full of numbers and addresses. For kids, particularly teens, it is a lifestyle. Their entire life is online.

They chat, they share, they enjoy things, they ask any question and receive all the answers the world has to offer. All of this and more is done online. Some examples are fighting, gossiping, and even dating. For some people it has gotten to the point where they don’t feel like they are truly dating someone until each one changes their status to “In a relationship with  __________”.

The same goes for everything else. The internet and social networks are so ingrained and have become such a large part of growing up that people forget there is a world outside of their computer or phone. Teens are taking their problems online. They are sharing aspects of life that would have normally remained private with family, friends and strangers alike. Then those people share it with someone else and it continues to the point that there will be fights and vicious gossip.

Then the question becomes: How can we teach our kids to be responsible and respectable people when they act like fools online?

Most of us would try reminding our kids that we taught them better but what do we do when that fails? Are we supposed to sit back and hope they outgrow it? Heck no! Should we act on our instincts? Yes! Should we try to change the situation so that we don’t have to bail our kids out of jail someday? Heck Yes!! Should we let our kids do what they want out of fear that they will be angry or embarrassed? No!

If your child is embarrassed that is too bad. They should think about how embarrassing it is to have to punish your child publicly because they refuse to listen or take advice. Parents aren’t the bad guys when they say, I gave you certain privileges (for good behavior) and I can take them away (for bad behavior). A parent taking down their child’s Facebook or changing it is a punishment indicative of the times. It is about taking a creative approach to resolving behavioral issues and other problems. The way I see it, I would rather embarrass my child and maybe knock some figurative sense into him than have to deal with tragedies down the road.

That is why I applaud these parents who do what they think is right and stick to it. I also think that the punishment should fit the crime and there is no better way to do it, than through the same medium used to perpetrate the crime. Some people say it is immature but in every interview I have seen where the children are asked about the incidents they were involved in, they admit they got warnings and knew that what they were doing was wrong. What made the difference to them was their parents stepping in and saying: No More!

Now, that you know what I think about all that stuff I hope you are understanding when I get annoyed at my child and take his phone and computer away (in the future when he is older). I hope you understand that I am unwilling to let my child have “fun” gossiping and fighting so that in the future I won’t get a call telling me that my child was arrested for something stupid and completely avoidable. My other hope is that it is  clear that unless one of these experts is my child’s parent they should not criticize the choices I (as a parent) make. They are entitled to their opinion but that’s as far as it goes.

Thank you for Reading!!


Winners! December 12, 2011

Filed under: Contest,Family,Holiday,News,Uncategorized,Updates — Yaya @ 10:19 PM
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The Holiday Cheer Contest has ended! Now, it’s time to name the WINNERS! It’s been very exciting and lots of fun coming up with ways to teach my son. This is by far the best way I have found to teach my son about kindness and sharing; simply by doing. Thank you all for your participation and interest. Especially those who read about the contest and spread the word. Hopefully, next year I can offer a few more contests.

This experience has been amazing and I hope all of you have been inspired!

Now onto the WINNERS:














Holiday Cheer Contest! November 17, 2011

Hello All,

Currently, I am a stay at home mom with a great little boy who loves to share. That simple and spirited love of sharing and being friendly has inspired me to give back to someone in need of some Holiday Cheer! After thinking about it for a few days and visiting several make a wish like sites, I decided to take a personal interest in making a person, people, or a family happy. I realize everyone is going through tough times but some are struggling more than others. I am one of the lucky ones who is scraping by with a little extra that I am willing to share.

How it works:

1.  Nominate!

Leave a comment below or follow me on twitter @YalyVidal (https://twitter.com/#!/YalyVidal ) to nominate someone. Make sure to reply to @YalyVidal with your nomination on twitter using the #HolidayCheer or send me a message. The nominees can be a friend, a family, or yourself.

2.  Share!

In your comment share why you or someone you know needs some good old holiday cheer! Also include some of their interests and a little about who they are! For twitter followers the challenge lies in doing this in 140 characters (several messages are also fine just remember the #HolidayCheer).

3.  Vote!

Check out the comments or read my twitter feed on my homepage to vote for the person, people, or family you think needs the most cheer! You can post a comment or reply with your vote! You can also include the #HolidayCheer and reply to @YalyVidal with the persons name or twitter to vote.

The Rules:

  1. You can only vote for your nomination once.
  2. You can only make two separate nominations unless you email me and I approve a third nomination. My email is on the ABOUT page at https://yayasanime.wordpress.com/about/.
  3. The contest is only open to people in the U.S. living in one of the 48 contiguous states.
  4. The nominations are not guaranteed to win or be chosen.
  5. Remember to nominate someone who NEEDS some Holiday Cheer! Although all nominations are welcome, I would prefer nominees who NEED some Holiday help. Please keep this in mind when nominating.
  6. The votes will be counted in order to determine how many pieces of paper each of the nominees will receive for the final round where the name(s) will be picked out of a hat on December 10th 2011. Once the nominee is picked I will tweet their name and send the nominator a message.*

*NOTE: A nominee will have a better chance of winning if they get lots of votes so spread the word and get your friends to vote. This is your call to action: Anyone can vote!


The prize(s) will sent directly to the person nominated along with a Holiday card. The prize is based on the interest(s) of the chosen winner(s). The prizes may be Christmas presents, Cards, Books, or Basic Necessities if the winner (nominee) chooses.

Contest Ends: Saturday, December 10th 2011 when a winner will be chosen.


If you have any questions please ask and I will get back to you promptly!

Good Luck!!

Thank you for reading!



Writing For Myself October 20, 2011

Filed under: Goals,NaNoWriMo,News,Uncategorized,Updates,Writing — Yaya @ 12:02 PM

Hello Everyone!!

I’m excited to be back. A while ago I moved into a new home and decided to consider it a time to start fresh. I took a break and figured a few things out. Some about me and others about who I want to be. What it boils down to is that in order to be a good writer I need to love writing again. I got on the grid, then off, and now on again to figure this out. Being back on the grid meant floods of information and advice. Some positive, most (sadly) negative.

That’s why I decided to write this post.  There was one article in particular that caught my attention. It was about how writer’s shouldn’t write just to write, that writers are expected to have sound reasons for writing and near flawless composition. I disagree. I think sometimes writers need to act as the readers and just enjoy what they write. They also need to write for writing’s sake. I know it sounds counter productive but all writers have ideas. Some are great and able to grow into short stories or novels. Others just go nowhere.

When writers find themselves in this situation what are they supposed to do? A writer is supposed get it out of their system, sort of speak. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m speaking for myself and several other writers.  I know I can’t speak for everyone but I’m sure we can all agree that sometimes we just need a positive push to get us going in the right direction.

My suggestion: Write For Yourself and stay positive. You should always be the first one to push yourself, not knock yourself down.

What I mean is, treat yourself like the audience. You are the only reader that matters. Other people can read it or not read it but your opinion is the most important one. During my break I realized I couldn’t force my writing. I had to let it come naturally. It needed to flow from me.

I was my best friend and my worst enemy; my fondest critic. All in all there was no objective or sound voice with which to guide my reason and prose. There was just a lot of noise. My thoughts were unsettled so I was unsettled. I needed to take a step back and start asking myself: “What do I really NEED?”

My answer: I needed a goal and a good push with a positive attitude to go with it.

There needed and still needs to be a voice that inspires the writer (myself in this case) and pushes them to be better. Not for anyone, just for themselves. I loved writing, then I didn’t. I felt bogged down and beaten every time I wrote. I couldn’t put pen to paper without over thinking it every step of the way. I couldn’t open a Word Doc on my laptop without wondering if it was even any good. I scrapped a lot of ideas that had a future but weren’t in the “Now.” I needed to change my outlook and be positive.

It wouldn’t be easy to break old habits or change my way of thinking. The first thing that needed work was the way I worked.

Smart people do silly things when it comes to writing and I am very guilty of this. It’s now or never. Write what you need to write and say what you need to say. That is how writing should work.

Instead, it’s more like write, edit, get flustered, grow frustrated, try to move forward with your mind stuck in the past, linger on said past, scrap it, change the wording, and then write a bit more. Exciting, right?

I’m sure there was a pause, some silence, and a sigh followed by a “Huh.”

For a long time writers have been convinced that what they think of their writing is not as important as public opinion. This idea discourages lots of people from even trying to start writing. It’s definitely a career that demands a day-job nowadays but totally worth it to those of us willing to put ourselves out there.

My advice: Believe in your writing. Don’t be a critic to yourself, be a supporter. Write, write, write, and when you’re done, go back and edit.

The second thing I needed to do was let go of my insecurities and I suggest you do too. Writing, unlike math has no one equation that works to solve problems. In other words, 2+2 can be four people, money, chickens, cars, or eggs in a basket to name a few; not just the solution to 2+2. In writing there is no one answer or formula. Each writer brings their own bit of something to the table.

I got over my insecurities and started to write. So far, I’m 3,000 words in and still don’t have a title. But you what, I’m okay with it.

The last thing I would suggest is challenging yourself to write things you never thought you could or would write. Some people write fantasy and fiction, why not take a stab at non-fiction? Don’t hold yourself back by limiting yourself to just what you do well.

I’m not good at sitting down to write and write and write if I’m not sure where I am trying to go with my story and I will challenge this side of myself by joining NaNoWriMo. For the past few years I have heard of the one novel in one month challenge and never tried it. I think it’s about time I did. My goal is to write using some new characters based on one of my random ideas. As I work I will add updates on my progress and some previews of the stuff I will be working on.

Wish Me Luck!

As always, Thanks for Reading!!


Soda, Soda, Go Away! July 13, 2011

Filed under: Family,Food,Goals,News — Yaya @ 10:00 PM
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My goal is to cut down on the caffeine. Especially soda. I love Coca Cola!! I just need to love it a little less. I feel caffeine deprived after one day. Lol. So today I set out to go try not to drink any caffeine. Not coffee, not soda.

I went most of the day without one. It was a little harder than I thought. When I was pregnant, it was easy to say no to caffeine most of the time. Now, that my son is about to turn one, I feel like I am constantly fighting the urge to drink a soda or have some coffee.

I guess I always feel like it comes with the territory. I’m a writer, a mom, and a wife. Guess I just feel like I need a soda or two a day to keep up. I drink one to two cans of Coke a day. It doesn’t seem like much but to me it is a lot. I have a cup of coffee most days as well. Not sure if that really makes it a problem or not. I just want to quit it.

I need to lose weight and get toned. It won’t happen over night but I need to cut back on whatever I can. I also need to start eating better but that’s a battle for another day.

Today ended with a small victory: I only drank half a can of soda. Tomorrow I will try harder not to drink any at all. I am going to try my damnedest not to drink any caffeine. Once I achieve this goal and maintain it for a few weeks, I will move on to improving my food choices.

Thanks for reading.